my journey

February 1, 2018…Self-Love At Its Best

Hello my beautiful friends!

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My family used to play a game, “Five Reasons Why You Love Me…Go!”.  It’s pretty much what the title is.  One person would spring the question onto another unexpectedly, and the other would have to answer as quickly as possible.  And, while this was silly and fun, it totally overlooked a more important question that gets right to the heart of self-love.  “Five Reasons You Love Yourself.”

For Christmas, my son asked me what I wanted, and I took that opportunity to turn the game around.  I asked him for five things he loved about himself.  On Christmas day, I received that gift and it was probably the most precious gift I have ever received.  And I couldn’t have been more proud and in agreement of his five choices.

This task was a little more difficult for me.  Before I began my self-love journey, I truly hated myself.  There was nothing in me that I loved.  One of the first books I read that lead me onto this path asked that question.  It asked me to take a pencil and paper and write down things about myself that I loved.  Titles such as Mom, Writer, Accountant, etc. were not allowed, and compliments that others had given were also not allowed unless I truly felt them for myself.  When I read that, it took me a full two days to come up with even one thing.  Honesty.  I am an honest person, and I love that about myself.  But after that one, I gave up.  It was truly too hard to come up with anything I loved about myself.  At Christmas time, I had to endure a situation that, for other’s privacy reasons, I cannot disclose.  In that moment, I realized the amount of strength that this little woman has.  And that brought two qualities to my list: honesty and strength.  Until today, I had stopped there.

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It’s funny how right at this moment, I am getting ready to try and think of three more qualities I love, yet I am contemplating whether or not to post them here.  Why is it that society makes it so uncomfortable for us to love ourselves?  I feel as though posting what I love about myself will make me appear full of myself, conceited, etc.  But that is so far from the truth.  I am simply learning to love me, and how can I do that without searching for something in me that I love?  So here goes.  And honestly, I am so much further than I was a few months ago, so I actually think I may be able to get through all five.  From above: honesty and strength.  Three more are: 3) Love.  A while ago, I felt I had no love to give…to myself or anyone.  My heart felt as though it were gray, ashy and lifeless.   I finally feel it is filling with love to give once again.  4) Sharing.  While I am working on not throwing unsolicited advice out the way I used to, I still love the fact that when I learn something that is life-changing, I am willing to share…kinda like I am right now 😉

I’m going to stop at four for now.  Getting to four was actually pretty lengthy in time/difficult to figure out.  But I am so excited that I went from none to four.  I am moving along nicely and it feels good.  Perhaps I will address this topic again in a few months.  Hopefully I will even be past five by that point.

Oh Wait!  I have number five 🙂  I absolutely love that I check in with me.  A few times every day, I check in with where I’m at and what I’m doing.  I ask myself if I like what I’m doing and what I can do to make myself happier in that moment.  So, number 5 is that I look out for me; I show myself on a daily basis that I love me and have my best interest in mind…always.  And while this may appear to be a quality that is quite selfish, I’m pretty sure that it is this quality that has helped me open my heart up to loving others once again.

I never used to check in with myself; never asked myself what I liked about me.  It’s almost normal in our society to not appreciate ourselves and just hope that self-worth will come in the form of acceptance and compliments from others.  What a sad world that is.  So now, I pass this assignment on to you.  Take a moment and list five qualities that you love about you.  If you don’t make it to five today, that’s okay.  Keep working your self-love practices and your answers will come.

Today’s act of self-love:  You just read it!

Until my next post, much love to everyone!

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(photos from http://www.pixabay.com)

 

 

 

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my journey

January 13, 2018…I guess I’ll start here…

Today is day one of the blog.  A blog of dreams, goals, self-love, and anything else while working my way to a life of writing and living free.

This blog, in and of itself, is an act of self-love, a term I’ve heard before but never understood or made an effort to until recently. I’m not there yet, but I’m certainly on my way.  I have reconnected with the younger version of myself, and know now that I have failed her in so many ways. But we are on a path of healing and forgiveness together…and it is beautiful in so many ways.

Step one in learning self-love is learning you, learning what you want and striving to make that happen.  So, here is what I guess some may call a vision board…

Things I absolutely love:

BODIES OF WATER
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TREES, GREEN, FLOWERS, WILD ANIMALS (Tiny and Large)
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OLD (AND SOMETIMES CREEPY) STUFF…aka Writer’s Inspiration
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FREEDOM TO DO AS I CHOOSE
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Things I am good at:

WRITING
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ACCOUNTING
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Things I no longer enjoy:

ACCOUNTING
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With all of that in mind, I begin my journey, today, toward a path of writing, freedom, nature, and most importantly learning to love me.  I’m not exactly sure how I will structure my writing in a way that will produce enough income to step away from my 9 to 5 job in accounting (see “Things I no longer enjoy” above) to allow the freedom I desire (see “Things I absolutely love” above), but I have a few ideas that I will share in later posts.  In the meantime, I will pull time from my current schedule to blog and flash you to the fullest extent possible.

Today’s act of self-love: Finally starting the blog ♥♥♥

Until my next post, much love to everyone.

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